20 November 2009

A Letter fron Your Most Esteemed and Favorite Cat Friend

Greetings, my devoted Public, have you missed me?

Mama says you're both in some far away country so I hope you can still read this. Do they have cats where you are? I hope so. Have you been keeping up with the posts? If you have then that means you know things have gone from bad to worse around here... AGAIN. These humans of mine reeely need to just stop with the adding of animals. (Well, except the chicken idea. I like chicken. Yum! Yum!)

Not ONLY have they brought home ANOTHER dog but they're letting that ugly puppy out of the kitchen to PLAY. Can you imagine?????? We aren't safe hardly ANYWHERE. If those two aren't playing mouthy-mouthy then they're making a racket chewing those stupid bones or -- this is the worst! -- snoring at Mama's feet.

I ain't afraid of those dogs. Nope, no sir, no way.

But I aint stupid either!

That black one likes to play chase and Mama says he's not trying to eat us (Buster and Miss. Lilly say so too) but I jump up and away just so he knows not to do it. I'm not like the others who hiss and swat and throw a fit. Why bother? They're just dumb DOGS! Get up off the floor and they TOTALLY forget you exist. Not like that stupid Girlie Girl who keeps on growling all night after you've walked past her stupid butt! Dogs have NO MEMORY so once you're gone they forget you exist. Mr Tam taught me that and HE'S the SMARTEST CAT I'VE EVER KNOWN! Miss Lilly studied under him before I was ever born and she learned how to not be scared of ANY dumb dog. She'll even sit on a low box and watch the dogs roughhouse for an hour. Lilly is The Coolest! I don't want to get trampled so I stay away unless we're having treat time.
Have I told you about Treat Time? Mama invented it. All we have to do is all show up and whoever is there gets lots and lots and LOTS of treats from the jar. Sometimes we even manage to get our noses into the jar when Mama's not looking and THEN WE PIG OUT! Even the dogs are allowed to have treats at treat time.... though we make Mama put the puppy in the kitchen and that new little one has to stay further away. EVERYBODY loves treat time. Except Girlie, but she's a (Sorry, Mama made me delete that word.) All we have to do to get the treats is not hiss or growl. I know it's a total bribe but, hey, it's TREATS.

Oh, yeah, and the other thing that happened is that Mama changed our kibbles so we get junk food ALL the time now, not just when we run out of the fancy stuff and Mama stops at the grocery for something to tide us over until the Hippie Store gets the other food in again. The babies had some tummy trouble so we can't have food with fish guts in it any more. :( I liked the fishy food! The good news is they are feeling all better now so my little students can study with me again. Buster and Ann are taking lessons from me on how to be therapy cats. They're pretty darn good already! Figures.... they're the same kind of color as me. ORANGE CAT'S ARE THE BEST!

OK, this is getting long now. I have so much to tell you but it's fall and that means we're having to keep the neighborhood clear of evil mice. Some of the neighbors don't have cats so we go to there houses and kill the mice there too. Mr. Harmon is nice and doesn't have a dog so Jack goes there a lot and I go all the way to the end of the road and help out because their cat died a few weeks ago. It's a LOOONG walk so I'm pretty tired after my twice daily patrols. that's why I haven't written in so long. The good news is we've been successful- no mice in the house AT ALL so far!

Hope you're having fun wherever you are.


Dr. Chetworth
Chief Therapist, Stratheden Farm

PS- Here's a picture of the last mouse we let Mama catch. Now we just dispatch them in the field because there are so many we don't have to share any more.

1 comment:

Lausanne said...

I've been waiting for such a long time for that installment from Dr. Chetworth so I would have the low down on how the expanded family is integrating its newest member. Glad to hear that handsome new dog is MOSTLY accepted by all and sundry four leggeds, and that treat time is a completely egalitarian affair: ALL for some and Lots for ALL...good manners being the only prerequisite!